|Jesus Tempted, by Chris Cook|
Twenty years ago I prayed the Prayer of Abandonment by Charles de Foucauld every day for a year.
I abandon myself into your hands; do with me what you will.
Whatever you may do, I thank you:
I am ready for all, I accept all.
Let only your will be done in me, and in all your creatures.
I wish no more than this, O Lord.
Into your hands I commend my soul;
I offer it to you
with all the love of my heart,
for I love you, Lord,
and so need to give myself,
to surrender myself into your hands,
and with boundless confidence,
for you are my Father.
I had to stop eventually because I couldn't commit to it; I didn't want to trust God like that, I really wanted my life to be fulfilled by 'bread', health, family, children, wealth, career. Oh dear.
Twenty years later some of the usual desires for my life (listed above) are lost. I have to admit I wouldn't protest if they were magically restored to me. But the truth is I know I want to live by more than bread alone. (I am not so sure about the cross bit with, "Father, into your hands ..." A bit of a way to go yet. At least I hope so!!)